How to Communicate Effectively During a Divorce

How to Communicate Effectively During a DivorceLearning how to communicate effectively during a divorce is a monumental challenge. Here at Elizabeth Henson, Attorney Mediator, P.C. in Denver, I offer a divorce mediation process that will not only help keep your divorce out of the courts but facilitate non-adversarial communication. I’ll provide expert guidance and support so that both parties can effectively navigate their way through a very difficult process with grace, respect, and self-determination.

While going through divorce can be one of the most trying times in your life, knowing how to communicate effectively during a divorce can potentially ease some of the stress. Here are a few ways to develop more productive discussions during your divorce.

Be Respectful in Tone

Clearly, the relationship has broken down or you wouldn’t be seeking a divorce. You or your spouse may be consumed by raw emotions and resentment. If you want discussions to be effective, the parties can’t fall into old patterns of yelling, mocking each other, accusing each other with judgmental tones or using abusive words. These tones are inappropriate and will lead to a communication breakdown, either in court or during divorce mediation. Speaking honestly yet respectfully is the most productive way that open communication can take place.

Stay Focused on the Issues

No one said divorce was going to be easy. It can be difficult to examine and assign assets, debts, and decisions regarding your children and even pets. Having to come to an agreement on these things can create extreme emotions that can be very disruptive.

At Elizabeth Henson, Attorney Mediator, P.C., I work with many clients who are experiencing frustration, anger, sadness, and bitterness. However, I provide the guidance and structure needed to ensure that talks are not wasted on rehashing old wounds, placing blame for old hurts or arguing over things that can’t be changed, all of which can stall the divorce and mediation process. Once you understand how to communicate effectively during a divorce, both parties can then focus more easily and discussions can move along more smoothly.

Agree to Boundaries

It’s important to set limits during the divorce process. Because you were once so close and know each other so well, it can be easy to cross boundaries. If you decide when, how often, and in what ways you will communicate, you will likely be more successful. Depending on the current state of your relationship, talking on the phone or in person with each other may be difficult; if so, you can try email. If you choose mediation and prefer to be in separate rooms during the meeting, I can arrange that.

Use an Experienced Mediator

Divorce mediation is a great opportunity for many couples to come to an amicable agreement that both sides can live with as they move forward in their separate lives. There’s no winning or losing. However, in order to be successful, you should seek out a reputable and experienced mediator who can provide you with guidance and support. An impartial mediator will listen to both sides, encourage communication and work towards a mutually agreeable outcome.

Mediation is often a positive alternative to going through the courts. Once you understand how to communicate effectively during a divorce, mediation can foster your skills through ongoing discussions to resolve all issues and come to an agreement. At Elizabeth Henson, Attorney Mediator, P.C., I can help you amicably achieve your goals and move on with your lives.


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